I'm only putting this post in here because otherwise I'll be one short. But there are no photos with this post. Oh dear God, no, there isn't.
This was a self-portrait class using pastels. I didn't have particularly high hopes for this because (a) I'm rubbish at drawing faces unless they're in absolute profile and (b) I just can't get to grips with colour, so this class was always going to be difficult.
We had to bring in a mirror and position it so that we could see ourselves while working at our easels.
Pastels are, apparently, a quick way to add colour to drawings. You put blocks or stripes or blobs of colour on the paper and then blend them with your finger to get new colours, etc. That's the general idea, anyway.
My pencil drawing of myself made me look like an alien. Noses are a fucking bastard to draw - I managed to make mine look like a drainpipe with a pig's snout sticking out the end. Really. And, no, I'm not showing you.
'Oh well,' I thought, 'I knew this was going to be a hell of a challenge and we haven't even started with the damn colour yet'. Our tutor wanted us to put in all the colours. And I mean ALL the colours. I knew exactly what she meant - if you look carefully at skin tones, in light and in shade, you can see greens, yellows, purples, blues. I just decided to be brave and slap that colour on there.
I ended up looking like a pig-nosed alien wearing Worzel Gummidge's hair and suffering from a debilitating case of eczema. Who's just been a victim of domestic violence.
And, no, I'm not showing you.
By way of mild compensation, this is my view of the classroom. I realise it's not much but try to gain what comfort you can from it and be grateful you're not looking at the horror that I 'created':
The next class was much better.
PS. It's just dawned on me that if I'd been Stella Vine, my self portrait could have been bought by Charles Saatchi...
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