Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Conversations with the new Messiah, aged 4

I have a close male relative, R.  He is 4 years old and a fizzy bundle of a small boy.  He is bright, curious, funny, bossy and loves his two older and one younger sisters.  He also has a very vivid imagination and is the only child I know who doesn't just have an imaginary friend, he has Mr Solomon, his very own imaginary Rabbi.  And we're not Jewish.  His mum, S, related a recent conversation she had with R.

R: Mummy, mummy - I have protectical eyes and protectical ears.

S:  Do you, dear?  That's nice.  And what do they do?

R:  I can see a long, looooong way with my protectical eyes!

S:  Really?  How far can you see?

R:  All the way to Africa!

S:  Goodness!  That's a very long way indeed.  And what do you see in Africa?

R:  All the animals - elephants and giraffes.

S:  That's lovely!  And what can you hear with your protectical ears?

R:  I can hear people talking to me from a looooooong way away.

S:  Wow - and who can you hear talking to you?

R:  I can hear God!

S: .....umm......really? And what does God say to you?

R: He said (in wispy, ethereal tones) "I am your future".

S: ..........oh..................

S has promised to keep me updated should God choose to make any more pronouncements to R, and she's keeping an eye out for any signs of stigmata.  We're wondering how much we should charge the pilgrims.

UPDATE - I've just been informed that R now has an imaginary country! It's called Appopedia and it's on the other side of the planet. We're keeping an eye out for them in the World Cup.


Anonymous said...

I think we may be related through R. He sounds like he would fit very well into this family. Do you think he is responsible for the photographs in your potato plants?

Mrs Jones said...

Your conversations with Oscar sounded like R's so I'm trying to remember them. I've no doubt the photos have his sticky fingerprints on them somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Just remember to keep us informed of developments - it could be vital for all of our futures. I like the sound of Appopedia, perhaps we could set up a colony of bloggers there. An imaginary country would be just perfect for us!

Mrs Trefusis... said...

He sounds absolutely wonderful - what a hoot.

Mrs Jones said...

Alienne - there's mileage in having a place called Appopedia just for bloggers, or perhaps small boys. I shall think on (dot, dot, dot).

Mrs T - how very lovely to have you drop by! He is, indeed, a very amusing small person who also knows the meaning of the word 'onomatopoeia'. He could end up as Prime Minister or in a borstal.