I have a close male relative, R. He is 4 years old and a fizzy bundle of a small boy. He is bright, curious, funny, bossy and loves his two older and one younger sisters. He also has a very vivid imagination and is the only child I know who doesn't just have an imaginary friend, he has Mr Solomon, his very own imaginary Rabbi. And we're not Jewish. His mum, S, related a recent conversation she had with R.
R: Mummy, mummy - I have protectical eyes and protectical ears.
S: Do you, dear? That's nice. And what do they do?
R: I can see a long, looooong way with my protectical eyes!
S: Really? How far can you see?
R: All the way to Africa!
S: Goodness! That's a very long way indeed. And what do you see in Africa?
R: All the animals - elephants and giraffes.
S: That's lovely! And what can you hear with your protectical ears?
R: I can hear people talking to me from a looooooong way away.
S: Wow - and who can you hear talking to you?
R: I can hear God!
S: .....umm......really? And what does God say to you?
R: He said (in wispy, ethereal tones) "I am your future".
S has promised to keep me updated should God choose to make any more pronouncements to R, and she's keeping an eye out for any signs of stigmata. We're wondering how much we should charge the pilgrims.
UPDATE - I've just been informed that R now has an imaginary country! It's called Appopedia and it's on the other side of the planet. We're keeping an eye out for them in the World Cup.
8 hours ago